But recently I had one dream that I didn't like (perhaps one of many). It was of a terrible plane crash. It was a fairly small plane...perhaps the size of a personal jet. I had gone to a restaurant to eat, and began reading an article on a plane that had been hijacked. I had read that a woman had been shot, through her baby..that the chew toy the baby had, gone through the baby and into the mother (oddly enough, the article had claimed that neither were injured, weird). I was saddened to hear this, I felt tears welling up within. I looked up from my article only to see the plane in the distance going VERY fast. It was flying erraticly, and all over the place. I had come down VERY close to the ground then back up again...I had thought it was going to crash into a nearby hotel, but it had missed, only to come up and back around heading towards the restaurant where I and a few friends were sitting. I saw it heading straight for me and I thought to myself "I'm going to die in a fireball from this plane" and I had prepared myself to die.
The plane crashed within a few feet of the window from where I was sitting, and I saw fire shoot out from the plane, but the fireball didn't extend past much of the plane, and I was ok. It took a few minutes for the realization of what had happened to catch up to me. I began to cry a bit...realizing that a number of people who were living moments ago are all now dead.
The patrons of the restaurant walked slowly out the door and approached the airplane. Many commenting that they could see bodies and parts amid the wreckage and flames. I could see good sized spots of blood here and there. I began to cry harder. My friend wanted to go closer and I tried to go with her, but the closer to the plane I got, the harder I would start to cry...eventually it turned into a panic and I couldn't go closer, as I could see a foot in blood near the plane. I was terrified, saddened and disgusted at what I saw that I couldn't go any further near the plane.
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Now, whenever I have vivid, terrifying dreams like that, especially when I'm crying in my dream, I usually wake up covered in tears. This time I didn't. I'm no sure why...did I know it was only a dream? I've read that it's not good to interpret one's own dreams, but when I dream, I interpret them as though they were someone else's dreams and look at them objectively.
I'm at a loss though, as to what THIS dream could mean. Generally I would say the traumatic nature in this dream signifies something scary happening in my life...something I am witnessing that's frightening me to the point of almost panic. I look through what is happening in my life and at the moment I can't think of anything. I usually tell people that a death in a dream signifies an ending to a period in their life and a new beginning will emerge. Perhaps there is a traumatic end to a point in my life, and now things will emerge anew. The erratic plane however could signifiy that my path is coming off course. I'm erratic in walking it, not knowing where I'm going. This could be true...I often feel pulled in multiple directions and it leaves me confused.
I can only wish though, that my vivid dreams remain pleasant, or exciting, as much of what I see in my dreams I place into a story I'm writing that is already perhaps 2 years in the making. I've come to a stand-still and have no idea where my story will lead to from this point.
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