Day 12 - My Way of Worship

Being a solitary eclectic, I don't have any real "structure" when it comes to personal worship. In actuality, I'm pretty haphazard with it.

In my continuous pursuit of proper spirituality, I'm taking a leap and hoping to participate in a course that will teach me the proper basics of Wicca, taught by a Wiccan veteran of about 25 years. Am I thinking of becoming, once again, Wiccan? Perhaps. My main problem with Wicca in the past was a misunderstanding of their basic ethics, of which I am now becoming more educated on.

With this new pursuit of spirituality, I'm hoping it will help me with regular practice and veneration processes. At the moment, like I said, I have no real structure. I don't really participate in any Sabbat celebrations (at the moment I simply decorate my altar with a representation of recent Sabbats (the newest upcoming, being Mabon)), I don't participate in regular prayer or worship attempts, and when I DO pray, it's usually on the fly, or as I am going to sleep.

I've always hated the word "worship". To me, the word "worship" brings to mind a grovelling supplicant, bent at the feet of a deity, kissing them. To me this puts the deities on a very high pedestal. Since coming to Paganism, I've more put the Gods in more of a parental/guidance role, than on a pedestal in need of narcissistic worship. To me, my Goddess is there to guide me through life, not demand I worship her and grovel at her feet (in all honesty, to me she doesn't seem the type to demand worship). Since seeing the Gods in a parental role, I've felt more comfortable approaching them with my problems and have sought truly useful wisdom. I've acknowledged aspects of myself I'd rather keep hidden, I've understood tragic events that have happened, I've learned to interact with my ancestors and those who have passed who were close.

In these same ways I interact with my Goddess. I approach her through a meditative and visual process. She comes to me, sits next to me, listens to any problems I have and offers advice, (or generally tells me I've screwed up and need to straighten up, lol). During these times I offer her genuine thanks for things I am thankful for, offer her up my worries and fears, discuss stressful problems, and listen for solutions.

I'm not one for lighting candles, reciting pre-written prayers, conversing at length and ending with the extinguishing of the candles. My way of worship includes seeking her out on HER plane; going to her instead of asking her to come here.