Day 17 - Paganism and Major Life Events

I initially came to Paganism after one major life event...one most people would rather avoid, however unavoidable it actually is.

I lost my first born shortly after he was born. I knew well in advance he wouldn't survive long after birth, but I chose to allow him to at least experience life however brief it was. During my pregnancy, I used to go to church on a regular basis. I'd kneel on the kneel-bench and pray my hardest to Mary and Jesus to not take away my boy. After being disappointed by their failure to help, I determined it was a waste of time to go to church and ask for help. No explanation, no feeling of support. I got nothing from Jesus.

I was pretty spiritually numb for a while. I started doing some research online and stumbled upon Paganism. It seemed to make more sense to me than Christianity. It didn't service to dictate to me anything, and it helped me to understand why I lost my son...something I never got out of Christianity. All Christianity gave me was "it was God's will". What kind of a response is that to a mother who has just lost her infant son??

Paganism helped me in THIS major life even by helping me realize that death is inevitable. It's a transitional period in which we all must go through. It's not something to be sad about (even though it's highly difficult not to be). When we die we go to a place of reflection. Perhaps my boy had reached the point in his "evolution" that he had no more to learn and has ascended to be at one with the "All"...the source of all, including the deities.

In other life events I've felt my Pagan spirituality help me. The birth of my last child (another son who is, as of this post, 19 months) I prayed to the Goddess for her help. Help me to be calm and not fearful during labor and delivery, help me in a speedy recovery, etc. I tell ya, out of the four deliveries I've had (four kids...three boys, one girl), despite being in a great amount of pain, it was the best delivery I've had. I had VERY nice nurses, the doc was great, and afterwards...I recovered very nicely AND quickly (I was shopping at Walmart the day after we were released from the hospital lol).

In all areas of life and the major events that take place, I've felt a strong connection to my spirituality. I love how I can get insight when I need it, questions answered when I have them and the feeling of serenity knowing I have found what I'd been looking for (even if I didn't know I was looking for it).