I was honored to be accepted into a 366 day course on Wicca, being taught by someone I've been acquainted with online for about 8 years, who is a 25+ year practicing Wiccan and a former coven member of a Traditional sect of Wicca.
I began the course just over 4 weeks ago and already my opinion of Wicca has done an almost 180. While much of what we are learning so far in this course I had already known, its many smaller things that are opening my eyes.
For one thing, I've been meditating wrong lol. Well...sorta, anyways. I was always taught the idea is to "clear your mind". Anyone who has tried this KNOWS how difficult this is. You tell your mind to empty and all it wants to do is fill up with thoughts. Learning how to meditate properly has helped immensely.
This course is also teaching me how to patiently call out to a God...something I had not taken into consideration because I felt I didn't need one. I was perfectly content living life paying homage to a Goddess. In at least a week to a week and a half I have been regularly reciting a prayer to both the Goddess AND God in hopes of opening the lines of communication TO the God, while trying not to neglect the Goddess. I've even gone into "Creative Visualizations" to talk to the Goddess but interrupted by a male figure. Now I'm not sure if this is an attempt at communication FROM the God, but looking back, I feel as though I'm pushing away while trying not to look to closely into what I'm experiencing. I feel that to accept these images and "conversations" with this male figure at their face value; that it is indeed the God communicating, then it's too easy and I'm just accepting anything at random that pops into my head. But I also feel that I may be pushing away the God at the same time, to maintain my close relationship with the Goddess...a form of self-sabotage. It's a bit confusing for me as to whether or not I should embrace this male figure entering my "Creative Visualizations".
Anyways. We are now on ethics and I'm understanding the Rede in a much better light. I am also understanding that not everything that is touted as "Wiccan" is set in stone and is not accepted by ALL Wiccans (for instance, Doreen Valiente, a prominent figure in Wicca, didn't even accept the Threefold Law, calling it "poppycock". Well done, Doreen lol). I think for the most part I maintain my stance on the Threefold Law (despite what some "HPS"'s want to ascribe it to). To me this law is little more than a means of maintaining control. There are already plenty of religions that thrive on control. Wicca, I believe has evolved from that.
In any event, I am fairly convinced I may re-integrate myself into Wicca. I understand that not all Wiccan "Liturgy" must be adhered to, as liturgy is not scripture -- laws set in stone. Despite some tiny, minute, and probably not all that integral to the religion bits of information I don't agree with...Wicca does sit well with me. I kind of knew this day was coming, it was just a matter of when.
Come next year, welcome the re-label of "Wiccan Witch".
(note, my practice of Witchcraft will remain unchanged).
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