Ugh...Frustrated!!!

It's eating away at me bit by bit. I have maybe 6 or 7 small notebooks sitting around my house with maybe 10 or 11 pages written on them (same thing over and over), and it's just NOT what I want!! This process is NOT working out!! GAAAHHHH!

My journey for the perfect BoS is getting more and more frustrating by the day. I think I really LOATHE hard bound books. I want my book to be set up in a certain, specific way (I already have the contents page completed and saved in a file on my portable hard drive). I just can't do that with a hard bound book, because I constantly think in the back of my mind that "what if I want to add to this section later?? I won't be able to if I don't leave some pages." and that means leaving a bunch of blank pages, and I hate the way it looks. It's right frustrating to constantly feel this way. I want something I can rearrange, but I can't seem to make the book itself come together! I also want it small so it's portable, because, now that the redesign of one of the parks I used to frequent is completed, I can go back there (albeit with a little less privacy than before considering they tore down a shit-load of bushes and trees, which made it utterly beautiful) and maybe do some workings on nice days (obviously when summer rolls around, considering the park is NOW under maybe a foot or two of snow).

I'm right unsure about what I want to do. I was seriously considering buying a binder-type organizer from Walmart because I can use a hole punch to punch out holes in some blank paper and stick it in there, but now I really don't know. Can I justify spending $29 for it?

Just while writing this another thought popped into my head...maybe using the screw posts I have to make a book using the roll of vinyl I stopped using, and some 9 x 12 artist canvas I can get from the dollar store. I have a TON of small post extenders and an extra 8.5 x 11 scrapbook with some pin heads in it that's being unused, but I found that the more extenders I used, the more flimsy the book got.

Ugh, this is SO frustrating!! I also JUST got my printer to start working again, so I might be able to print off some pictures to use, but the quality sucks really bad for some reason if I don't use photo paper (and I find photo paper to be too thick).

I'm seriously about ready to pull all my hair out of my head. This is getting ridiculous!